Footing the Billadelphia - A Word, If I May.

I'd just like to talk for a second about Eric Brooks from Bryn Mawr, PA, and the AIG bonus fiasco. Earlier today, I moseyed over to the NYTimes' site, as I usually do at the beginning of my shift in an effort to not slip completely into blissfully ignorant oblivion (emphasis on completely). I had just been spouting off to my roommate about how I thought the recent vote for a 90% tax on the AIG bonuses is both amazing and hilarious. Amazing, you know, politically, because frankly the idea that millions of dollars of taxpayer-funded bailout money was going straight from our pockets into the pockets of the executives who helped cause this recession is A F*CKING OBSCENITY, but also just amazingly hilarious.

So naturally I had to check out today's Letters "An Overreaction to A.I.G. Bonuses?"

Now let's take a moment, just a little momentito here to talk about some of the opinions expressed. Because I can accept that some might consider the vote a vindictive waste of time when there are, arguably, more important matters to attend to. Personally, I'm of the belief that vindication is almost never a waste of time, but hey, I can respect the opinions of others in this domain.

I also don't see how the government reclaiming millions of dollars of taxpayers' money intended to alleviate the recession from the hands of private citizens is a waste of time, but whatever. That's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about the letter written by Eric Brooks, winner of the First-Ever Adelphia Stories Exclusive "Tw*twaffle of the Week Award."

Presenting Eric's letter:

To the Editor:

The bill to tax A.I.G. employees is indicative of the venom and frustration felt by many Americans. But A.I.G. entered into legally enforceable contracts with individuals who have not been convicted, or even charged, with wrongdoing. Years from now, history will view this extraordinary act as similar to the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II and the Salem witch trials, an embarrassment to our great nation. Many of us support today’s government-led mob. But who among us will be tomorrow’s witch?

Eric Brooks
Bryn Mawr, Pa., March 20, 2009

Still not perturbed? Let's review, shall we?

...history will view this extraordinary act as similar to the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II and the Salem witch trials...

So, if we try to place ourselves in the mind of Eric Brooks, then...not allowing corporate executives to use federal funds as personal bonuses...is the same as imprisoning people based on their nationality...is the same as burning women alive.

And it kind of makes me feel like this.


I just..I have no words. What does one say to such a comparison? How does one process that? Moreover, how is one to get the head-explodey stains out of the carpet? It's all over.

So, congratulations, Eric Brooks, for earning the honor of being Adelphia Stories' very first Tw*twaffle of the Week. Thanks to you, I can never read the NYTimes again.